Scourge of the Underworld

2004-07-30T19:31:00.000+08:00

She lit up a cigarette.It's been a year since she smoked, and her hands shook as she put the forlorn stick in her mouth.
Sweet menthol ecstacy pervaded her. Nicotine shot rapidly to her brain, down to her asthma-ridden lungs as graceful shapes danced teasingly in her face... slowly... into oblivion.
Ahhh... the good old days.She remembereed she was rather innocent when she started smoking. She boasted she already knew life then, but of course, she didn't. It was rather naive. Real life paled in comparison to her idealistic naivetes. And smoking. Why, smoking is one of the little pleasures in her fairy tale world.
She yearned to return to that cloistered little state again. Back then, life was less complicated.Or at least, that's what she would like to think.
Maybe that's the reason why she held a pack of West Ice in her hand.
She drew another puff.
But what is to believe? Before, she thought she knew herself. She indiscriminately wrote all the do's and dont's she gathered through the years ("I don't want to be like mommy. I am different from the rest of them. I want to be different. I don't want to marry. I want to have my own life. I don't want to.."). She thought all those mental notes made her self.
Her reveries brought her back to the present. She distinctly remembered that she promised her Daddy she would be a good girl. She thought she was sincere. At least that was she she believed in. Or would like to believe in.
Apparently, last nights' events proved otherwise.
And what does that say about her? Clearly, she does not know what BELIEF really means. And it's ashaming that she took pride on that before. Her life was rooted in pride, or at least, a huge chunk of it. Pride, which she held in utter importance, is dependent on these beliefs. Now, how dare she boast of her impeccable, unbending convictions that she supposedly held all her life when she does not even know what those really meant. And if everything precious to her is ambiguous, then life does not make any sense at all.
Basically, everything is just useless.
Bittersweet absurdity. Whoever said "ignorance is bliss" obviously didn't know much about life at all.
Puff. Blow. Another cloud of smoke.
But is there anything worth believing in? Is there anything worth believing at all?
Stupid questions. Nietzsche must be right about the whole nihilism shit. Everything just boils down to sheer, unadulterated NOTHINGNESS.
She heaved another puff before finally throwing her stick away. She watched as its embers slowly died down on the pavement. Tiny, flickering lights danced, fought, struggled to stay, to leave an indelible mark on the ground. But of course, everything were reduced to fine gray ash.She then wondered if the great civilizations of the past were obliterated that way... if her life will end up that way.And as she started to leave, she realized maybe her life does not even need obliteration anymore. Her life is already similar to that lone clump of ash on the pavement.

2004-07-09T14:25:00.000+08:00

[gasp!]
i am cutting pulan today.
[gasp!]
i am cutting literary criticism today.
[gasp!]
in an hours' time i won't be heading to the second floor of the Science Education Complex, specifically on Room 119-A.
[gasp!]
Why?
[gasp!]
'Cuz I'm cutting my favorite subject.
[gasp!]
[gasp!]
[gasp!]

and yes, I do have asthma.
[gasp!]
hope you get the pun here.
[gasp!]

2004-07-06T14:51:00.000+08:00

stupid Things you shouldn't do:

1) Drink coffee after a minor asthma attack.
2) Drink coffee after taking steroids to prevent minor asthma attack from becoming a major asthma attack.
3) Drink coffee after taking steroids afer having a minor asthma attack.

(hurls)

2004-07-01T16:04:00.000+08:00

ang olats.
yesterday, the sky had big, fluffy, angry clouds on it.
it has "bloody rain" written all over it.
however i still clung on to my pride and didn't bring an umbrella because:
1) it's phallic (feminists, or semi-feminists, whichever way you prefer like me simply can't condone carrying that closely resembles a phallus)
2) it simply does not go with my outfit. besides, i don't want to go around the campus with liana, promoting LitSoc in various freshie classes with that hideous thing
3)i'm too lazy to lug around with that.
so there. my last words beofre i left the dorm were, "I'd rather get wet (uh-hmmm... you perverted kids. i know how your mind works. for proprietys' sake, let's change that to "get rained on")than bring an umbrella with me."
and so i did.
***
but i did not learn. the weather does not cooperate with you. i still did not bring an umbrella with me today.
and so i was drenched.
anyway, i decided to give in, and come French class, i was carrying that disgusting umbrella with me.
guess what?
it did not rain.
AT ALL.
(screams bloody murder)

2004-07-01T15:11:00.000+08:00

okay. i should clarify things. JOy will probably kill me (swear, I will cut down on my lesbo jokes [crosses fingers on both hands]!).
I am attributing my sabogation (yes, dearies. it's a taglish word. so you don't pronounce it with an accent, like sa-bo-GAY-shun. :D) to the weather.
but i am getting ahead of my self. let me start from the beginning.
i started the day right.
i throw on this fun outfit that i have been saving just for today. i had this cute, ruffly white top and this black jeans-skirt that has a red star on its left back-pocket and a red zigzag that run all the way down to up to like, two inches above my ankles ankles (it was the slit). anyway, i completely forgot that i ripped the slit part the last time i wore it, so now it was like, an inch down my butt.
being a lit -tracker, i chould have regarded it as "foreshadowing".
however, i didn't think i would become a mrilyn monroe wannabee today because it wasn't that windy and the sun (horror of horrors!)was shining.

i proceeded to reserve the dela costa consultation room for the litsoc rec week interviews right after philo class. i don't want to go amnesiac again on all my litsoc responsibilities, so I decided to reserve the room ASAP.
i was done after fifteen minutes and proceeded to go home. as i was walking along CTC, somebody shouted my name, and wonder of wonders, it was my ex-bitch jaymee!
we decided to reminisce the good ole days and i accompanied her to colayco to sign up for LFC and Guidon (and talked her out of LEX, hehe).
then it started to get really windy.
in fact, it was soooo windy i was flashing my J.Lo butt to everyone who passed by colayco.
even though my friends personally think my butt deserves as much exposure as J.Los', being a porn star is definitely not included in my wishlist (besides, my butt is more anti-social than me, so i don't think it will appreciate all that attention. leave the poor thing alone).
and then it started raining.
it started raining REALLY HARD.
All our efforts in keeping ourselves dry were futile (as J-mees'umbrella is busted), so we decided to just get ourselves wet.
So there, jaymee and I walked in the rain, at school. it was both our first time to get drenched in manila.
I coerced jaymee to stay at the dorm first, and lent her my clothes.
It was scary, totally scary. SHE LOOKED EXACTLY JUST LIKE ME.
(shivers)brrrr....
so much for nominal relationship nostalgia.

2004-07-01T11:08:00.000+08:00

Jaymee and I got wet today.
She also wants me to be her wife.
I accompanied her to the LFC booth an hour earlier to sign up (yay! we are forever org mates!). we even have the same sked (she cums, i mean , COMES right after moi).
kewlness.
She also signed up as Jaymee Mortega.
...
...
...
Now the world wants me to be their wife.
***
By the way, Joy. Ex-bitch and I are wondering why aren't you jealous of her. I mean, Leo and I don't get wet together, nor do we stay in the dorm alone after getting wet (TOGETHER) and we don't even share the same bed (TOGETHER).
And I'd downplay the fact that she's more masculine than Leo.
Hmmm... if she took on my surname, then that makes me the butch, right?
just a thought, honey.

2004-07-01T11:04:00.000+08:00

jaymee and i got wet today.
she also expressed her desire to marry me.
i accompanied her to the LFC booth (yay! we're still org mates!). She signed up for the interview (yay, we have the same sked. she cums, i mean (ahem), comes right after me) and signed uo as Jaymee Mortega. Isn't that just lovely?!
The world wants me to be their wife.

2004-06-29T15:04:00.000+08:00

yayness! for the first time since seond sem, i have used the CTC comp lab! hooray for CTC! hooray for free internet (ay, wait. this is included pala in our tuition fee)! hooray!
***
juz finished French class today. We learned how to inroduce people. it was fun. now i learned the frech equivalents for "gomennasai" (je sui desolee) and "nandemonai" (de rien). Mme. Chee taught us pronunciations and stuff. kewlness.
oh, and finally, i fathomed the answer to the question that has baffled me, allen and leo since the first week of june.
the quintessence (or wait, is it quintessential? but quintessential is an adjective...right?) of pate de foie.
It's pronounceed as pat du fwa, darlings.
isn't it juz incredible?!
***
i am reading execom stuffies while updating my post. something caught my attention. it struck me so much i was laughing my head off HERE IN CTC (ctrl+c, ctrl+v)

allen (aka La Presidente):that's not really fair, nor true. i don't even supervise
her... we're room mates here, and i do not, nor plan to extend my
being the bossy litsoc president in the apartment setting... so
please include myra in the reminders and deadlines and all the
hoolabaloo, as is only fair. she needs it, as both her memory and
mine are in-credile.

Jaymee (ex-bitch):->but prior to my post, i already talked to myra. she didn't need reminding, in fact, she reminded ME of her duties for this month. as that was most un-sabog and therefore, unlikely of her, i figured YOU were breathing down her back. or something. haha. but i still love you myee and i'm sorry, hindi ko alam na nagbagong-buhay ka na pala. i'm so proud of you!! *heartses*

-->> off with her/his head! jk.
i think the last one was woomie dearest (iloveheriloveheriloveher! she loves me sooo much that she does not breathe any Litsoc thingie to me in the dorm...).

hehe. i promise, i'll try harder to be the most un-sabog HR VP in litsoc history ever!!!(spot the irnoy here? I have learned sooooo much from Sir Pulan and Cleanth Brooks and all those lit geniuses that he lets us read all the time)

haha. but jaymeedoo, your unwavering faith in me is quite touching. i shall keep that in mind. the last thing i want is to let my ex-bitch down...

i actually talked about my whole dory thing earlier in my scholars' guidance interview. this nice girl, queenie, told me to buy a whiteborad or something so that all my org responsibilities will be totally visible. it sounds fun. i'm envisioning yellow and brown carolinas (or if National bookstore doesn't have brown, then the usual yellow, orange and black Litsoc colors will do) piled together and stuff and i'll get my creative juices running by decorating it and stuff and it will be lovely, just lovely! i hope ate jen will let me tape something like that in the wall. Besides, taking down reminders in my special, handydandy Litsoc notebook does not work for me (If it does, then I won't be forgetting all my HR responsibilities, ayt?). The poor thing is left in my bag most of the time (just as queenie hypothesized) so there. I might as well utilize a bigger, better, funner, reminders thingie. Who knows, maybe I won't be as sabog as this...

Therese has this lovely quote in here e-mail. It says:
"The only thing that equals writing what you think is a good poem is to write another just as good. It is like coming home after a long absence, and knowing the trees and water and land are yours, your land; or waking up with the woman you have known all your life, and knowing she is your life; to feel the boundaries of yourself widen and expand in the sober drunkenness of your brain." -Al Purdy
Isn't it just nice? it reminded me of bard-y boy, as he's the one who continually makes poems out of nowhere (I like reading poetry at all, but I suck making them. fiction, for me, is fun-ner).

speaking of bards and poems, i'm starting to feel guilty about the lack-of-romantic responses-issuing-from-me in my life (whew!). i can't help but revert to the "mushily crazy" happenings two nights ago. the sight of riddick and his lips plastered on my cheek for whole, big, fat five minutes will always be impressed upon my memory (i bet you he's thinking otherwise. like, in lit or in the movies, when couples kiss, the whole world just stops and Karen Carpenters'infamous "Close To You" suddenly comes into picture? well, for me it was more like gluing my eyes to fantasy movei eye-candy).
yes joy, i am giving you the complete liberty to call me the "Queen of Mush- Lethargy", I'm sorry, i don't think the "romanticity" (if there's such a word)in me is near one-fourth of yours. Even lovely ex-bitch attest to it ("Myra is Joyful now and I finally met why. She is obviously out to drive me mad with jealousy. Psh. Spare me the subterfuge, my darling ex-bitch. You know quite well we both have no sense of romance in our "souls." Yesss. You love me.")
And seriously, I kinda feel bad about it. Yes, it sounds insane, but i actually still feel. i'm not that cold-hearted. or at least i think.
oh well, he could always change his mind. i am still aniticipating that fateful day.
whatever.
***
i gotta end now. i have a movie to catch in sir brions' class in fifteen minutes. It was fun blog-updating here in CTC. therefore, i shall resolve to this every TTH or whatever chance i get. and yeah, if i do remember to update my blog.
ja mata ne, narco baby! bonne journee!

2004-06-28T12:14:00.000+08:00

Mood: Disgusted
Song: "Girl" by Tori Amos
From the shadow she calls
and in the shadow she
finds a way
And in the shadow she CRAWLS
clutching her faded photograph
My image UNDER her thumb
yes with a message for my heart
yes with a message for my heart
She's been everybody else's girl
maybe one day she'll be her own
She's been everybody else's girl
maybe one day she'll be her own
And in the doorway they stay and laugh asv iolins fill with water screams from the BLUEBELLS can't make them go away well I'm not seventeen but I've cuts on my knees falling down as the winter takes one more CHERRY TREE rushin' rivers thread so thin limitation dreams with the flying pigs turbid blue and the drugstores too safe in their coats and anda in their do's yeah smother in our hearts a pillow to my dots one day maybe one day she'll be her own and in the mist there she rides and castles are burning in my heart and as I twist I hold tight and I ride to work every morning wondering why "sit in the chair and be good now" and become all that they told you the white coats enter her room and I'm callin my baby callin' my baby callin everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own.
-"Girl" by Tori Amos
***
do you sometimes wonder how totally insignificant things gain total leverage on you?
***
i started the day right. i got to finish my handouts and my lit paper two hours before class .
i was very proud of myself.
forgive my being gullible, but before i went to school, i actually felt my paper was just not that all bullshit (okay, maybe it was crappy, but still...).
i was happy.
it was something like, the significance of studying first-world literature in a thord-world country.
i guess i'm much of a Sir Pulan now, asmy paper raved on how lit affects values and stuff. it was one of our recent discussions in lit 112.1.
i thought i didn't care. i actually bought all those stuff about lit and values-formation and shit.
I totally forgot that Ma'am Rica has this peer-review thingie on first papers. it's a ritual. the whole class passes their papers and she then distributes those. You must comment on whatever paper you get.
The paper I got was brilliant. It was totally honest and modern and fun.
However,
I'm not much of an editor.
Nor a commentor.
It was one of those activities that i don't like.
Last year, kae got to comment on my paper. She was very nice, she did me proud.
I should have braced myself for this year.
Whoever commented on my paper told me that I was an Eagleton (he was the one who wrote the value-formation and lit article we discussed in Sir Pulan's class) rip-off.
And for some unknown reason, that really BOTHERED me. It never occured to me that I'm an individual who doesn't know how to think for herself. It was the next thing to being worthless. It's like Im' this vaccum. I don't have beliefs and opinions. I'm just this sponge who takes everything in. The words, "critical" and "analytical" are foreign to me. Apparently I'm not making full use of my brain.
I was on zombie mode for the rest of the class.
I think I'm gonna be like this for the rest of the day.

2004-06-26T12:31:00.000+08:00

there you go, jaymee. i do hope i have satiated your curiosity. :D

2004-06-26T12:30:00.000+08:00

okay jaymee. i think i owe you a story. and i mean a STORY.
which means i should start from the beginning, which was like, three months ago (see how much i love you, ex-bitch? :D). anyway, this is gonna be way LOOOONNNGGG, as this a STORY so i advise that you read this when you are totally bored with life and got nothing to do except read some neurotics' "love story".
(takes a deep breath)
okay.
****
i don't think you still remember this, jaymeedoo, but i slept over at kriz's place last March. we had this deal that we're gonna take a break from schoolwork (Kriz realized how pathetic i am ) so we planned this "sister-bonding weekend". I'm gonna go to his place on friday night and sleep there (well, i actually didn't sleep. we had a movie marathon. or rather, i had a movie marathon. he fell asleep while we were on the second movie. he was like, "Me?! Sleep on Moulin Rouge?! [it's his favorite movie] That would be just preposterous! Zzzzzzzz...."), then go to intramuros with his churchmates on saturday to help him shoot piccies for his photography class. in turn, he'll sleep over my place on Saturday night. so there.
it was fun. there were a lot of interesting things at Intramuros so we didn't have much trouble. I didn't have problems being an outsider, as sometimes I like being apathetic and alone. I didn't talk to anyone except Kriz and his siter and to some random people who were trying to be polite (or maybe they were just innately friendly).
Then out of the blue, there was this guy who blurted out, "gomennasai" and suddenly my HR skills were activated. Soon, we were yakking about anime and Nihongo and lit and "Fast Cars" and Batman and Kriz ended up the one being OP (the poor thing). He didn't seem to notice though, as he was too busy taking pictures.
And then we left. I was a bit disappointed, actually. But it was okay (and for the umpteenth time Kriz, I didn't have a crush on him that time. I'm not the type who goes about looking for romance. Its the least of my concerns).
So there. I met someone cool and stuff. And I thought that was the end of it.
Then about two weeks later some Bard Undone invited me to his friendster. I was about to reject it as I thought he was some depressed white male in dire need of amail-order bride. However, curiosity got the better of me so I proceeded to check out his profile and was surprised to find out that he was the interesting guy from Kriz's church.
And then I sent him a message ("Ohmigosh, you're also from JASMS? ...") and he replied and then e-mailed him again and stuff.
I think it was on the third or second e-mail that I started to like him.
Then I started grilling Kriz about him (the poor thing). Of course, since they're friends and stuff, Kriz was like, "He's really wonderful and nice and stuff... but he has a thing for our church mate so there (that was after he laughed at me. He was like, "Ohmigosh! You?! have a CRUSH?!hahahahahahahaha!" Yep. that's how friends are.)." And I was like, "It's okay. He's my crush and all but i am not looking for romance. I just want to be his friend cuz he's really interesting and I can relate to him and stuff."
Well, waddya know? When I checked my friendster two days before my birthday his message was something like, "I think i'm starting to have a crush on you and stuff (sorry, I don't quote people verbatim, unless I have to)." And I was like, "Kewl! I have a crush on you too!"
When I didn't receive a birthday greeting from him I started to doubt my sanity. Maybe I was just hallucinating when I read that message and he didn't like me at all and I just incriminated myself (which was no biggie by the way) and everything was just a projection of my id.
A week later, i proceeded to text him and stuff and he realized he got my number mixed up so there.
As for me, I sighed out of relief knowing that i didn't invent the whole thing and I wasn't hallucinting and he does like me after all (yay! My sanity's still intact).
So there...
We started going out...
And stuff.
Ooh! I remember, when we first went out. My mom asked me who i'm gonna be with. and I was like, " Si Joy, 'yung churchmate ni Kriz." And she was like, "Ano yan, babae o lalaki?" And I was like (mentally), "Oh gosh, she's using The Tone on me. If I tell her that he's a guy then it's likely that she won't let me go out anymore. My parents are the type of people that think I have sex on my mind all the time and that whoever guy I go out with is likely to get me pregnant (shifts to LN mode: 'Like, whatever!'). However, if I tell them that he's a girl and somebody sees us then I'm doomed". So, I told her he's a guy. Then she was like, "Ano ba yan? Bakla?" And I was like, "Uhm, no...he's bi." And my mom was like, "Okay. have fun."
And then when we went to our place (yes, he actually went to Bulacan albeit the fact that he lives here in Quezon City. isn't he just wonderful?)and my paranoid mom and her sister were debating on his sexuality and mommy kept on insisting that he's a homosexual. My whole family knows him as my bi/homo friend. tee-hee.
And no, we're not an official couple yet.
Hehe. Last summer I actually asked him if we are already couple. He was like, "Do you love me?" And I was like, "No..." And he was like, "Eh di hindi pa tayo and stuff".
So there.
And that's okay with me. WAY OKAY. Cuz well, I still have a bit of Gabriel trauma so I still have this perverse view on love and romance and all that shit so I don't want to tell him that I love him cuz I should first sort out my opinion regarding love and mush and stuff and telling someone that you love him without having a clear picture of what love is is well, uber-weird. So there. Besides, I am TOO immature to be tied down to a relationship. One of our phone conversations went like this:
he: "Let's talk about mushy stuff..."
me:"Okay..."
he:"Blahblah mushy stuff blahblahblah..."
me: "Uh-huh..."
he:"Blahblah mushy stuff blahblahblah..."
me: "Okay..."
he:"Blahblah mushy stuff blahblahblah..."
me: "Mmm-hmm..."
he:"Blahblah mushy stuff blahblahblah..."
me: "Okay..."
So there. I am total opposite of an ideal girlfriend. So I don't want to be anyone's girlfriend. At least not yet. I mean, sometimes I really pity him cuz he's this totally romantic guy and stuff and I am this totally apathetic girl and stuff. And for me, it's better to be apathetic than a hypocrite so there. Besides, there are those extremely RARE occassions that I do get mushy. However, those instances join the ranks of monkey-eating eagles in terms of visibility.
And yeah, my parents have this "no-boyfriend-until-you-graduate-rule" so there. I am not a fan of clandestine relationships so there. I have told him about it anyway and he seems okay with it.
Last Sunday he told me he's falling in love with me (Leo told me it should be translated as, "Tayo na ba?" and I told him that he was wrong cuz I already asked him that last summer. When I finished my story he nearly fell off the chair laughing. Ang olats ko daw.). And of course I retorted with the classic, "Okay".
Olats ko. I'm sorry. I'm still adjusting my love principles and stuff. I don't want to lie to him. That would be totally pointless. I do like him A LOT, that much I can tell (Yes, i do. In my own way. I know you will have a hard time digesting this little trivia after all my olats reponses).
And he told me that he'll wait for me and stuff.
Guess what was my reply (I'll give you ahint: it starts with "O" and ends with "Y" it's a four-letter word so "okray" definitely does not count)?
Seriously though, I am giving him a few months before he changes his mind. I can see it now: "Hi Myra. About the whole love thing? Well, forget about it. I just realized how horrible you are."
Really.
I don't know. For the past few days I have been playing the role of a demanding , VIP girlfriend (like he was supposed to go to band practice with Kriz and Rai but he didn't cuz we were supposed to go to Powerbooks and stuff. Even kriz and Rai tagged along and I really felt bad after it cuz I don't know, for some unknown reason I was just not in the mood for conversation and stuff so I was practically silent the whole time and stuff). Just last Wednesday, he told me he felt like I shooed him off and stuff (oopsie...I'm really sorry, Bob). It's really weird. The fact that he told me he's falling for me makes me want him to feel otherwise. Maybe because we've only known each other for like, three months and stuff and I feel like it's such a short time to fall in love with someone. Or maybe I have trouble accepting the fact that I'm actually worth falling in love with or something. Or probably I want him to see the real me and stuff, that I am moody and bitch and evil and shit. Argh. I really don't know.
That just goes to show how twisted I am.
But one thing's for sure: that I do like him. And I think that's s ufficient enough. At least for the time being, at least (Don't worry, Joy. When I got my love-views all straightened up you'll be the first one to know. :D ).

2004-06-26T10:25:00.000+08:00

they weren't as bad as i thought. I like pulan, actually (even though the quantity of his reading double by the minute). he makes me think. i actually recite in his class :D i pity sir acuña. on our first meeting he was like, "so there's no one into goth here? how about wicca? or Cabbalah?" i felt the energy drain from him after the realizing that no one genuinely liked his class (ok i do, but i don't want people thinking i'm a major suck-up. now i don't care). the poor thing. and people find him scary. maybe they find him intimidating and strange cuz he's really smart and all.
oh well.
and sir brion! he's soooooooo fun! our three hours seem to fly by. he's really cool and fun and smart and oh, did i say he's fun?
as for my french teacher who is reportedly a "terror"... well, she's frank. and sarcastic. so it's fun. i don't find her scary at all.
plus, our philo teacher is fun, Fun FUN!
so there. this is not much of a semestral suicide after all. i actually feel like a lit major since i have three lit classes this sem (these are actually my last. sniff...). the readings are total killers, but they're okay. i prefer reading than calculating electricity consumptions and stuff.
...
...
...
i am giving this nerdo-optimism a month. come august i'll be screaming bloody murder.

2004-06-25T19:43:00.000+08:00

hmmm....

Emo! You're very in touch with your emotions and
that's what I like about you! It's all about
the music for you... I have pity for your
tortured soul...you're just like me...

What genre of rock are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

yay! I'm a Dory!

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-25T19:37:00.000+08:00

You'd bite their neck and drain their blood! Why?
Because you're a vampire like me! Whats that?
You're not a vampire? Well here's your chance.

How would you Murder?
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah right, whatever...

You're a lollipop!! You're known for your coolness,
for you are a trend setter. You're a natural
leader, and are good under pressure. People
often seek you out for advice, for you have
great insight.

Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You have a twisted soul! Twisted Souls are never
bad, and actually, are a rarity amongst souls.
These souls are a little combination of
everything, with always a little of their own
chaos to add. Twisted Souls are kind, loving,
weird, zany, temperamental, and very talented.
They have their own firm opinion, and can at
one time be very outspoken and passionate, and
the other time shy and feeling insignificant.
Twisted Souls have good senses of Humor and
other times can be a bore. You can act quite
intelligent at one time, and grasp concepts
easily, while other times they can find it
difficult to understand. Twisted Souls are
always very fun and Kind, and can be party
animals. But, if you love someone, youre
serious about it, intense, and forever loyal.
Congratulations-the world should have more like
you.

finally, one that's true!

What Kind of SOUL do you posses? (For Girls only) Incredible Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-25T19:33:00.000+08:00

wheee! I am on a quiz frenzy! I am downloading Ym beta and the darn thing juz won't start. Just for the record, this is like, my fourth attempt (at downloading ym beta) already.

2004-06-25T19:29:00.000+08:00

juz for the heck of it, i took this "girlfriend test". i am still waiting for the results...
...
...
...
WHHHHAAAATTTT?????!!!!!
I don't believe this. As in no way, man. Oh well, i'm sure someone will definitely disagree. :p

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend.

2004-06-25T19:27:00.000+08:00

Hercules

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-25T19:26:00.000+08:00

your bitch.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-25T19:22:00.000+08:00

Geesh...This is scary. I do have a fat ass...

Barbie Got Back! Go you! You're the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-25T19:17:00.000+08:00

Fight Club!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-25T18:04:00.000+08:00

ooh! i haven't yakked about school yet!
let's see... i got into modern drama (thank God! at least I'll have one "normal" lit teacher. normal in the sense that i haven't heard any scary feedbacks about her and she's perky and she's my english teacher since first year (awww.... it's so nice to be a junior...) and she's okay [mind snaps and goes into ditzy mode]and she makes me think (actually all eng/Lit teachers make me think) but she's fun and stuff and she does not give twenty-page handouts and stuff and she's into plays and i miss acting and since it's drama we're gonna have this class presentation and stuff so there. load rev was not that hard at all (at least i got to experience it bEfore i graduate. it was bliss compared to reg.reg was pure hell .)there. yay.
anyway, that didn't make this sem easier. that particular class is already heavy cuz we're gonna discuss EVERYTHING about theater. then i got goth lit. it seems fun. however, it's gonna be taught by sir acuña. i don't know him but i heard that he's really intelligent and many don't like him cuz he's really strange and he gives low grades. then i have literary criticism, taught by another "legend". i think liana's rantings about sir pulan is sufficient enough ("he started the class with something like, 'i'm going to take your weekends away from you...'").then there's Intro to Interdisciplinary Approaches under Brion. according to ex-roomie he was this totally strict, fifty-something old guy who does not have a sense of humor and who RARELY gives A's. then there's philo.
so much for my "i-won't-be-a-nerd-anymore-and-i'm-gonna-have-a-life-now-and-i-will-be-a-dean's-lister-as-well" vow.

2004-06-22T23:01:00.000+08:00

okay. this is something that i have been wanting to write about, but have been putting off for some time because it's something that i am not totally comfortable with.
yep, it's the L-word.
and no, i am not pertaining to liana's mini-series.
...
...
...
maybe i should have my head cleared up first.

2004-06-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

okay. this is something that i have been wanting to write about, but have been putting on for some time because it's something that i am not totally comfortable with.
yep, it's the L-word.
and no, i am not pertaining to liana's mini-series.
...
...
...
maybe i should have my head cleared up first.

2004-06-22T22:25:00.000+08:00

grrrr...
i was supposed to watch angel sanctuary tonight but good old morpheus is (*beep*)up. you see, s/he (my computer is gay. s/he only responds to leo) had major operations lately. the first one was about two weeks ago, when leo attempted to copy one of my mp3s into his pda. morphee had a brain transplant. apparently, the display was (*beep*) up (it was all pop-art and stuff. it was utterly gross)so he labored from four pm to twelve midnight just to get the doggone thing right. well, he eventually did, but he had to use another hard drive on morpheus to fix him/her. then, last week, morphee borrowed ivory's combo drive. s/he had another genital, so it was a sex transplant of some sort. allen had the extra genital removed tonight, but now, morphee won't respond. first, s/he had a memory problem (a sorry case of amnesia. the only thing we got from her/him was a continuous beep and the infamous blank screen of death. but after all those terrible phsiological ramification s/he endured for the past few weeks, i think s/he deserves the right to go blank. who wouldn't?). leo eventally got to her/him, but now s/he refuses to accept her brain. can't detect it or something. the poor thing.
(whines) but now i am not able to exploit him/her and it's just not fair! (grumble)

2004-03-24T12:04:00.000+08:00

and that, dearies, was supposed to be mental processes. the after-effects of sabogation are quite apalling.

2004-03-24T01:55:00.000+08:00

oopsie. that was supposed to be rekindled. not rekindloed. i should sleep now. my menat processes are slowing down.

2004-03-24T01:52:00.000+08:00

you made my day. you rekindloed the kitsch me.

2004-03-22T18:16:00.000+08:00

i had my sci 10 orals today. i guess it was...nice (well, at least ma'am was nice).
okay. i made outlines and examples for thesis statements numbers one to nine. i blabbered about those for thirty minutes at the dorm. and thought that verything would be okay. i just breathed a silent prayer to God before i started, and wished for anything but the worst. ma'am changed my grade quite a number of times. i think i got used to virgina woolf's stream of consciousness now, that i unconsciously used it for my orals. remember that due to the limits of my frail mind, i had arranged my thoughts in a linear fashion. one goes first, then two, etc. but one thing slipped my teeny-weeny brain:i forgot that i wont be discussing everything. so there. when maam asked me to start with the fifth thesis statement first(it was okay). then she asked me to connect it with the second one (my linear frame of thought is starting to get blurry). then finally,she asked me to wrap it uo with the ninth thesis statement (at this point, my mind started to resemble the primordial soup). i had to repeat what i said twice. then, (miraculously, my mind suddenly snapped to decent mode) when i finally gathered my thoughts and was ready to blurt out what i had prepared, i realized that it was already four-fifteen (i had consumed exactly 15 minutes blabbering non-sequitors).
i should have ended three minutes earlier.
geez...it was really embarassing.
oh well. at least im done with it. and ma'am was really nice. and now i know what to do with my next orals.

2004-03-22T00:52:00.000+08:00

and that's a lame attempt at stream of consciousness writing. i don't think i pulled it off, though.
but seriously though, i am troubled at this bitchy thing. apparently, my high school friends were apalled at this sudden shift to bitchiness. one, i was NOT AT ALL a saint during high school. two, all my friends were not goody-goodies themselves, so it is kinda weird that they are bothered at my bitch-blitzkrieg attacks. three, am i troubled that i am not troubled by this "my-suddenly-turning-bitchy-thing". i mean, i never realized that i had assumed that supposedly lofty bitchy state. heck, i never realized that i changed at all.
hmmm... if i failed to realize that i have changed, then maybe i am that insensitive bitch my friends claim i am.
but does it matter?

2004-03-22T00:38:00.000+08:00

my?!!! ano ka ba?! that was so bitchy kaya!
huh? dear, she was asking what have i done with
my shoes. so i juz gave her pure, unadulterated truth:
"oh, that. my mommy told me to throw them away."
there. what's wrong with that?
you loser! you should have told her that you stashed
those somewhere or something.
and why would i lie to her? earlier that morning, before i called her, my mom saw the anihilated shoes and told me to throw them away . why should i tell her otherwise? after all, she was the one who asked. i had no intentions to make her feel worse. i just told her what i did with those darn shoes, for crying out loud!
WHAT?! I SOOO CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU ARE SO INSENSITIVE!
am not!
yes you are! why, i can even see you flipping your hair this instant!
and so, what's wrong with flipping my hair? its perfectly normal for girls to flip their hair!
that's not the point.
i know. just for the record miss debater, you were the one who stated that i was flipping my hair in the first place.
whatever. you were, and still are insensitive. i mean, even me, myra, was taken aback by what you said.
i don't believe this. here you are, the uber-bitch queen of our high school batch, ranting on one measly statement i said because "it was bitchy". look, for the nth time, I HAD NO INTENTIONS TO HURT HER. i just told her what happened to the shoes, plain and simple.and if in the process, i broke some unwritten moral obligation to her with its supposedly bitchy undertones, well im sorry, i didnt mean to.
silence.
isn't it interesting that people find solace in silence ( i have always thought that everybody needs somebody, or something to hold on to in order to live. and i think silence is one of those things that we hold on to. we do things, things that we reserve only for ourselves, because we are alone, because we are confident that nobody can see or hear whatever clandestine revelation we have. and we make silence our ally, confident that in the midst of that "alone-ness", we have an accomplice that would take our secrets to the grave. and isnt it paradoxical, that even in those sacred moments of us being alone, we still need to be comforted by something, we still need to hold on to something.) ? when alone, the sheer inanity of nothingness probes one to think, to reflect, to gather shards of memories and questions and answers and piece them together. and like a quilt, one drapes it over her or his head, freely inebriating oneself to the kitsch and angst that bound those tiny shards, like those were the very ingredients to the elixir of life. one does so because of silence. and no matter how she or he tries to disgaree, she or he is bound to silence at that very moment, as one needs it in order to bathe in that bittersweet act we affectionately call reflection. silence always leads to the progeny of reflection. because only in those rare moments of silence do we pathetic human beings actually do reflect.
and that's actually what i did, when confronted with that uneasy pause that seemed to go on for eternity. his words rung in my ears, and i can't help but taken aback by what he (or she, or whatever sexuality he gets into) said. it was as if i failed to comply to his expectations, the sole person who supposedly knows me better than anyone else. shitty expectations. shitty ideals. why do people always have to refer to those, anyway? can't they just give everybody a clean slate, instead of basing a persons' character on a set of opinions? it just freaking sucks.
a basta, my. i still don't get it why you have to tell her that.
well guess what. i don't get it either.

2004-01-22T07:49:00.000+08:00

grrr! "save target as" lang pala yung solusyon dun sa putakteng olats na excel na klima na worksheet na yun!aaargggnhhh!

2004-01-22T07:45:00.001+08:00

therefore, i conclude, that not only theo, but sci10 as well, is bad for your health.
okay.okay. and cramming too.

2004-01-22T07:45:00.000+08:00

i was just wondering. why, oh why, have i three/four/i lost track posts ofr one day?!

2004-01-22T07:44:00.000+08:00

shit. today is theo day. grrr... i find it rather a surprise for failing a subject so nonsensical as that. IT'S DRIVING ME NUTS.
and that's really bad, because my whole atenean life revolves on its little, stupid fingers. if i fail this, i won't retain my scholarship (funded by nice jesuits by the way). and if i don't retain my scholarship, chances are, my parents will be too happy to relieve me of my theo-tortures by voluntarily kicking me out from ateneo. my mom's been egging me to transfer to up for months.
erg.

2004-01-22T07:29:00.000+08:00

grrr. that klima website/excel worksheet/calculator is bastardizing morpheus again.
yes. morphee-baby was highly stressed for two days. i think i installed too much anti-virus programs (i know. that was majorly stupid. i just can't help being paranoid). now we're perfectly happy with norton. he's really responsible. yep. never fails to do his job.
so there. im glad he's working again. heck, i went ballistic for two days. imagine your beloved pc breaking down in the middle of the sem (im sorreee... but for a full-fledged nerd like me, that's a major tragedy)! so there. since i can't open my programs, and alt+f4 not crt+alt+del won't work and pop-ups keep well...popping cryptic, scary, computer gobbledygook, i recoursed to the most reasonable thing to do: i harassed people big time. especially alen (yes, i know. poor thing). and WHINE. so there. i dragged her to the dorm and let her tinker with my pc. good thing she has miraculously fast fingers and was able to close the programs before the dialog boxes started popping out. so there. morphee is well and alive again.
save for this stupid klima thing that won't work. i cant even save it on my computer. the site's freaking messed-up.

2004-01-22T06:57:00.000+08:00

wahehehey. im back from the dead.
yes, folks. little noogies girl here, fresh from the grave.

okay. there's still nothing to write about.
nevertheless, im gonna take li and jaymee's advice and fascinate everyone with our dazzling lesbian (non-)relationship.
uhm.
uhm.
uhm....
i'll go check li and jaymee's blog first for inspiration.

2004-01-10T00:49:00.000+08:00

i have a dull life. im sorry. im a full-fledged nerd now. therefore, there's nothing to write about.

2003-12-23T01:48:00.000+08:00

well, this does sound like me, but... I WANT BROWN!

VIOLET

You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and belive strongly in your personal morals.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

2003-12-16T21:21:00.000+08:00

li, im gonna make you proud of me. i just read your your blog (applause here).
im sorreee...i completely forgot about the proj prop for next years' latte party. but i'll give you the copy tomorrow. promise. jaymee and i have a gnarly contingency plan. he.he.he.
gee. i should give myself a pat on the back. im actually updating my blog. like as in, today. i mean, c'mon, my previous entry was dated like a month ago.
now, im gonna make a real blog entry. im gonna blabber about stuff that happened TODAY.
(takes a deep breath)
today's pol sci long test number one day. and i didn't actually study for it. like, vanette and i woke up at around four am and we slept an hour after. the closest thing i did next to studying was read the separation of powers handout. actually, i started reading it the night before, at around eleven, when i completely dozed off. i spent two hours figuring out how to solve for some landfill's volume for my sci10 activity. i thought i had figured it all out. hehe.
so there, i woke up late. and i actually had the nerve to debate whether im going to eco class or not. but since i didn't feel like reviewing for polsci and it's our long test on thursday, i decided to go. i actually reviewed for the dang thing during the weekend. dunno if it was helpful. i didn't got to answer any of her "review questions". but i did understand her topic today. hehehe.
oooh....i also received the results of ou recent quiz. i got seven over twenty-five (oh well, at least i got seven questions right). i wasn't exactly remorseful, since it was asurprise test, and i didn't study the night before.
polsci is another issue. okay. i wasn't exactly worried about it or anything. coz one, i always listen to sir millard's lectures; two, it's an open notes thing and three, i actually enjoy polsci.
but when i saw the multiple choice stuffies, i was like, "ang olats."
needless to say, i screwd up probably three-fourths of the whole thing.
i enjoyed the essay part. it was relatively easy. i enjoyed it so much that i had only thirty minutes left for the define-connect-with-democracy thingie part. i didn't leave anything blank, but i wasn't very happy with my answers. they were obviously rushed.
vanette bought me lunch. and coerced me not to cut theo (my theo teacher and i had a recent "argument"). good thing i didn't. gino helped me with sci10 shit. i'm glad my theo time was actually productive.
after theo, roomie and i spent some quality time together doing lex shit at the archives. we're not yet done.
then i coerced her to watch the virgin suiceides with me. i loved it. i actually found it nice. and all of them died, so it's enough reason for me to like it. :D
ooh, and they made a big deal out of my yellow, flowery top (hey, i paired it with a long, black skirt and a black jacket. i think that was perfectly normal. -_-). bache said the outfit was gothic.
? oro????

2003-12-16T20:47:00.000+08:00

erratum: uhm, it's neil gaiman's "stardust". i forgot the other word. erg.

2003-12-12T18:50:00.000+08:00

it's jaymee's birthday today. i'm wearing an all-yellow outfit. and b'coz of that, ln called ma an impostor. hehe... next year i'll don an all-pink outfit instead. i wonder how people will react to that.
snicker.

2003-12-12T18:44:00.000+08:00

ooohhh...ooohhh. now i remember! i mean, this isn't exactly what i had in mind, but it was on my list of stuff to write about. since october.
date: october 24, 2003.
erg. we're on our way to nueva viscaya, to celebrate vabette's eighteenth birthday. and to tell you frankly, i am NOT in high spirits. first and foremost, im riding with carla, rey, eman and g. wooo-hooo. spot anything out of place here? it didn't bother me that much though (well...okay.maybe juz a wee bit). i hAve tristran thorn in neil gaiman's star to keep me company. and, we told horror stories along the way. and we sang disney songs and arabian nights and stuff (when we finally got to nueva viscaya). and i'd rather stay with them than.... basta. at least all of us are kinda close.
we finally got there, at around eleven pm. then, there's this commotion about the bathroom thing (who gets to go in first) and the sleeping place thing. vanette's mom was kinda strict about stuff, and the block was separated into two: one room was strictly for boys and another was strictly for us. so there. everyone was cool with that (okay, and we're kinda "scared" of vanette's mom as well). except len. she insisted that she and ryan sleep together at our room. of course we are kinda uncomfy about it. i mean, hello, if that's the rule, then follow it. we're sleeping under their roof anyway. so there. i was really getting pissed off already. then vanette told me i need to practice for a song number for her party, and i did. i slept with her friend since there's no space left for me in the room. ryan already occupied it.
grrr.
day two: october 25.
this day really, really sucked. first, because everyone were pairing off and enjoying their own quality time; second, the party was a flop; third, i was really left out . i really wanted to get the whole thing over with. i'm so pissed!
day three: october 26
we went to banaue. it's relatively better compared to yesterday's hell, since i got to shop for stuff and all. i saw this really cool tiger wood sculpture that like, costs for a hundred and eighty bucks. i never knew i have bargaining skills, since i got it for only a hundred. also got birthday gifts for allen and j-mee. however, that does not change the fact that i'm still around with lovey-dovey couples. it was also a sunday, and i wasn't able to go to church. ooohh, i coerced vanette to take me the cemetery (it was my first time, believe it or not). they swam later that night (a friend of vanette's mom has a pool). and okay, i was again o.p. my skin asthma wounds are still fresh, so i was not allowed to swim.
grrr.
day three; ocober 26.
homeward bound. yay! i never felt any happier during my three-day stay at vanette's place (im sorry. i was really miserable). oh. i was sick during the bus ride. i felt throwing up every five minutes.

there. that ends my three-day sojourn at nueva viscaya. im done ranting now.

2003-12-10T18:17:00.000+08:00
poor, poor, narco baby, been stagnant for a verryy loonnnggg time.
i know. i have been a verry verry bad, neglectful, stupid, uhm...blogger??? (scratches head for lack of a better term).
and you mst be asking, "WHY?"
tell you a lil secret: im LAZY.
VERY LAZY.
And not ot mention very stupid.
like, my head was full of ideas and stuff to write on, and when i logged on, i was like, "what was i supposed to write about again?"

2003-12-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

You are Form 0, Phoenix: The Eternal.

"And The Phoenix's cycle had reached
zenith, so he consumed himself in fire. He
emerged from his own ashes, to be forever
immortal."

Some examples of the Phoenix Form are Quetzalcoatl
(Aztec), Shiva (Indian), and Ra-Atum
(Egyptian).
The Phoenix is associated with the concept of life,
the number 0, and the element of fire.
His sign is the eclipsed sun.

As a member of Form 0, you are a determined
individual. You tend to keep your sense of
optomism, even through tough times and have a
positive outlook on most situations. You have
a way of looking at going through life as a
journey that you can constantly learn from.
Phoenixes are the best friends to have because
they cheer people up easily.

Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

a href="http://quizilla.com/users/wgryph/quizzes/What%20Finding%20Nemo%20Character%20are%20You%3F/">
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

yay! ^^

img src="http://images.quizilla.com/R/RACHELMRAY/1069817100_aerygoblin.jpg" border="0" alt="Day dream">
Youre the Day Dream Fairy. Your kind and sweet and
you do nothing but daydream. Your dreams Are
wonderful and paradise. You no nothing of the
bad in the world and you are so clear in your
emotions> So please vote even if its a 1 !!!

Which Beautiful Amy Brown Fairy Are You? (with pretty pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

really now?! earlier, i was the bubble, then the fire fairy. like this pic better, though. ^^

You are the Figher Femme

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Asteaband is your Vampire name.
You are a fun-loving Vampire who likes to scare
others. Humans look at you with fear, and
other Vampires are amused by your energetic
antics.
To use your new Vampire name and become a Vampire,
go here:
www.life-blood.vze.com

What is your Vampire name?
brought to you by Quizilla

Goddess of the stars. you stand for beuty and
light. You also love to twinkle!

What beutiful goddess are you?(with anime pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

You're Most Like The Season ... NO wait! Hold it!
You're not like a season at all! You're a
psycho... You need a new season created just
for you.
You either answered wildly to be different, or you
truly are a 'special case'. Independant -
maybe, Intelligent - somewhat. Weird and wacky
- most certainly.
A nut case, a fruit cake, the joker, the insane
lunatic :) However be careful or you may get
locked up.

Well Done... You're not at home in any of the
seasons, you creat your own.

?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-11-26T20:05:00.000+08:00
like, i have to go out juts to surf. erg.
hehe...its a quiz day tomorrow and i havent exactly reviwed yet.

2003-11-26T20:04:00.000+08:00
stupid stupid isp. grr...

2003-11-22T05:32:00.000+08:00
haha. net connection. i sure wish i have a more efficient one. seems like mordred's having tantrums everyday. (segway: im changing his name to dream. li told me it's hard to name a pc after a traitor <"siyempre you named your pc after a traitor..."> so there.) and like, he just pacifies whenever leo's here. which is like, every night na since tuesday. so there. haven't been updating this poor site for a week because of that.
i know. grrr.
btw, i have a new lovely offspring. it's redwhispers.blogdrive.com. it's brown. 'nuff said. i have also a lethargic blurty account, which, i have to stress, is in a poorer condition than narco baby here.
as for the events that transpired during the week, well, excluding dream's frequent hang-ups, the week was spent photocopying handouts and studying hiragana. yes, im shifting into nerd-mode as early as the start of the sem. im reorganizing my life. i think even my chaotic self had enough pandemonium already that it screams for at least a pint of order.
or so it seems. the dorm is still messy.
but i clean my space every day. that's an IMPROVEMENT.
anyway,as i was saying, nerd-mode and all. well, i don't mind. after all, i am a nerd. so there. i even volunteered to be the beadle in my sci10 class (gasp!). and i am already done with sir's "beadle homework" last night. hurrah!
oh yeah, i "shopped" again at liana's place. i love all her cute doggies! they're so adorable!
i also realized that my yeayea.com account can't like, send messages or something, cuz nobody in hr received any of my messages, which is kinda weird cuz ive practically peppered them with my sked (i sent it like, thrice). so there. i juz asked li to include my yahoo account in the e-group. and now, im really part of it (double hurrah!) i vow to be a faithful deputy this sem. i owe li and j-mee a lot. i was a sucker for a deputy last sem. anyway.

2003-11-13T02:23:00.000+08:00
speaking of blind items (i was soooo inspired at j-mee's blog), i think i have one too. pero later na lang. im gettin sleepy.

2003-11-13T02:22:00.000+08:00
i am downloading mp3s. its either kazaa is gettin weirder by the second or it is mordred thats havin problems.

2003-11-13T02:20:00.000+08:00
i cant sleep. i think vanette's getting irritated at me. its already two am.

2003-11-13T02:19:00.000+08:00
first day of classes. t'was nice. im actually anticipating lots of pressure this sem. so there. i think im gonna be more OC than ever. i made a deal with two lovely young women...
jap was nice. at last des and i finally saw each other after a year. i panicked when our teacher started blabbering in japanese. good thing it didn't last forever.she smiles a lot, too. i find her cute (you look cute. can i be your daughter?). i learned stuff:
"hajimemashite. watashiwa mie desu. doozo yoroshiku."
smileysmiley.
oooh. by the way, i think leo's vanity is rubbing off me. i planned my back to school outfit a week in advance.
"hajimemashite. watashiwa mie desu. doozo yoroshiku."
"hajimemashite. watashiwa mie desu. doozo yoroshiku."
"hajimemashite. watashiwa mie desu. doozo yoroshiku."

2003-11-09T23:51:00.000+08:00
i am so glad the first sem is finallly over. i am actually debating whether to put all the gory details in this journal or not, they're just to painful to dig up again. it was very traumatic....i don't want to undertake in group works again. ever.
and besides, those events made jaymee think thrice on having me as her friend slash harasser.

2003-11-09T23:47:00.000+08:00
yes. i am alive again. woo-hooo! hooray for dorm internet connection! i vow to update my blog UBER-OFTEN now. ^_^
wwll, well. indeed narcoleptic had been boring. i am over the "the goth event frenzy. well yeah, it's nice to go out once in a while...but well, i guess i just realize that they are not perfect, that's all. i mean come on. before, i waS like, "OHMIGOSH! AREN'T THEY COOL OR NOT?!". now i'm like, "oh goths? yeah, i know a handful."
it all started with my second goth event.
allem amd i were the only brave souls who trekked to green planet despite sadistic academic requirements. so there were, seated comfortably on the same couch ria, j-mee and i sat on about a week earlier. andrew was listening to music in the, uhm, dj area thingie (i intended to write "dj box" but im not sure if it's the right term or not). allen urged me to text him, let him know that we're already there, but i did'nt. yes. surprising as it sounds, i did not have plans to embarass myself further. besides, andrew and i are not close. so there. we waited for about twenty minutes before he spotted our area. so he sat down, wwe chat, he introduced us to masque, the quiet guy whom i haven't heard a thing during the last event. both of them were looking for ria and jaymee. anywaY, turns out that masque had uhm, typhoid fever the a day after evadominaI (ooohh...that's why you were so quiet...). he was really nice and friendly and talkative, not slimy and sleazy as pervy mike. and he told me he'll be glad to lend me a hand in photography, so there.
anyways, allen and i spotted a guy in victorian costume earlier. we thought he was kinda interesting, so we didn't freak out when he was introduced to us by andrew (i thought they have been friends for ages) and sat at our table. he could have passed for a perfect guy had it not been for the get-up. or so i thought. the next thing he did was completely atrocious: he grabbed my hand and kissed it! i know. ewwww.... cooties! crazy. but i decided to let it pass. he's weird. i can't do anything about that.
-_- nobody talked to him the rest of the evening. anyway, around two am, i began to pity the eccentric creature and decided to strike up a conversation.
(red lights flashing.sirens wailing. whe-ow, whe-ow, whe-ow. one more time! whe-oe, whe-ow,whe-ow! ain't that nice?) i should have seen it coming.
ngarrlll (that's supposed to be a cat growling). he pounced on me like a vampire (uh, mi? what's a cat gotta do with a vampire?). he talked to me like there's no tomorrow. and his face was like, two inches from mine.
SCARY.
good thing masque has sixth sense. we decided to vacate the pleace immediately.
andrew, masque, allen and i ranted outside (the green planet guys posted our picture of last weeks' goth event. like, thank you very much. we're not goths.) the vampiric gremlin then came out of nowhere and asked where do i live. freaky. good thing the cab had perfect timing. i sooo ranted when we got in the cab. at least he said sorry he kissed my hand without my permission. pig.
i had a photog session with masque two days after. it was great. i never realized how stupid i am. i demanded a guy whom i just met, to go to katipunan to teach me stuff, who like, resides somwehere in manila. erg.
anyway, went to the next goth event, this time with jo (alen's best friend), patty and of course, allen and ria. and yeah, we danced (again). nummy nummy san mig lite. good thing weird guy wasn't around. andrew told me he also used to hit on his friend, lyra.
okay. let's play, "what's in a name?"
grr.
the next event was like a rock concert. at mayrics (sa wakas, nakatungtong na ko sa... 'takte. ito lang yon? you sure mayrics to? -_-).
he was there.
had to harass leo again to protect me from him.
scary. he was like, "myra, myra, myra..."
sorry pal. im actually an alien ambassador from Mars, scouting on your people. Myra was a decoy. she's actually the fruit of years of hard work and labor. she is the long-lost grandmother of stitch who used to look a lot like lilo.
well, at least he did not even dare to go near me.

2003-09-11T17:43:00.000+08:00
uh, oo nga pala, as to the events that transpired during my first goth event, well, uh, let's just say it was wonderfully weird. wonderful, in a sense that i had fun during that night, basically due to the presence of *beep*beep (sorry, tanong niyo na lang kina jaymee. mahirap na...). and, well, the conversations were well, weird cuz i really didn't envision myself tattling to a bunch of guys probably twice my age whom i just met a few minutes ago. but, even though they were old, well, they're kinda fun. at least they are open-minded.
and well, going to that event, is a BIG PLUS for our ethno, so there.
uhm, i had fun downing my san mig dry. it really tasted goo. it's not icky and yucky like lite or pale. nummy, nummy, according to lenore.
oh yeah, it was also a proof that i can further stretch my un-dignifying abilities by dancing. and nit just dancing, but really dancing. and what's more scary is that my future film theory and criticism teacher is practically a few feet in front of me. arg. wala na akong kahihiyahan.
what was nice though, was that, they were really open-minded, so im hoping that sir andrew will forget how i juggled that night. arg.
well, i guess that was it. im looking forward to my next event. at least there weren't thugs/bling bling guys/nelly look alikes asking me how old i am and if i would like to "party" with them.
i really don't like dancing.

2003-09-11T17:21:00.000+08:00
not much have been happening lately.
but uhm, if ya count in the schoolwork, well, that's a different story.
uhm. im going to evadomina again. tomorrow. same time, same place, and probably the same people but with free drinks.
oh yeah, the picture-people (the people who take pictures i mean), freaked jaymee out. she's still in the process of recovery, which i might add, is verrrrrryyyyy angst-ridden.
you go girl.
good thing i situated myself at the faaarrrrr right (what? the far side?!) corner, spot, whatever. i have nothing to incriminate myself.
i really don't like dancing, goth or not.
i mean, im for self-expression and all and that "i-dont-care-what-you-freaking-people-think" thing, but dancing is just, well, let's say, OFF my limits.
oh now.im taking allen with me now. and ria. what joy. litsoc's dancing damsels. oh great. i do hope i become invinsible or something. or just fade in that bobbing, shaking, dancing sea of black.
sea of black. why didn't they choose brown instead? brown's a nice shade. it's depressing too, and it's the color of most crap and mud. how free can you get? brown symbolizes dirt. brown is my complexion. brown is my favorite color. i love brown.
maybe it's the lack of brown merachandise in the market...
stupid capitalists.
im gonna make my own, BROWN REVOLUTION.
haha, watch out world.
the brown glorification has begun.
....
now, where was i again?

2003-08-29T21:20:00.000+08:00
Final Fantasy: You're always up for adventure, and
are prepared for the worst. Your life is full
of twists and turns, but you've learnt to deal
with them.

What video game do you belong in?
brought to you by Quizilla
yay! what joy!

2003-08-29T21:19:00.000+08:00
im going to evadomina, my first goth event, with ria and jaymee, in a few minutes. what joy!

2003-08-29T21:17:00.000+08:00

Which Card Game Are You?

hmmmm....

2003-08-29T21:14:00.000+08:00

2003-08-29T12:25:00.000+08:00
jaymee, im gonna borrow your "happy thought for the day".
mine's 'don't trust men.'

2003-08-24T22:19:00.000+08:00
hindi niya ako tinext, ni sinundo nung friday.
un lang.

2003-08-20T10:50:00.000+08:00

Goth

What Kind of Goth Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-20T10:48:00.000+08:00
Your Results:

You were male in your last earthly incarnation.

You were born somewhere around the territory of which we now know as modern France, approximately in the year 950.

Your main profession was: jailer and exicutioner.

A brief psychological profile of you in that past life:
Bohemian personality, mysterious, highly gifted, capable to understand ancient scriptures. Blessed with magicial abilities, you could be sometimes a servant of dark forces.

A lesson that your last past life wishes you to learn in your present life is:
Learn to love and to trust others. Think, study, reflect, and develop inner wisdom.

take the past life test at http://www.internetjunk.org

2003-08-20T10:46:00.000+08:00

hmmm...may connection ba to kina dao ming si?

2003-08-20T10:42:00.000+08:00

2003-08-20T10:40:00.000+08:00

what warning label are you?

2003-08-20T10:32:00.000+08:00
last saturday, the block celebrated ray's birthday (a day in advance) at montegos. it was fun, since it was the first time i went out with the block this sem. what made it more interesting was that jaymee, yes, our dear antisocial butterfly, actually taggged along. what's more shocking is that she wore a white and blue striped quarter-sleeved top, a headband and blue jeans.
i know, what is the world coming into?
hehe.. juz kidding.. i love you jaymee (i know you're the first one who'll read this). it was fun.
the two of us isolated ourselves in a secluded table during dinner.
but seriously, amidst forgotten lyrics (i know the next line starts with a "b-word", i juz forgot what it is... teehee...jaymee's giggles erupted in the background, and i need to stop because i know she memorized the whole thing by heart. it was kinda embarassing, since i did the whole song three times, but knowing me...embarassments are natural occurences) and stupid dance moves (yes, i actually danced), and ray's surprised face (we actually made him go down the stairs and "surprised" him thrice until we were satisfied with his expression), i gotta admit, i had fun.

2003-08-18T13:01:00.000+08:00
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/domino.jpg
src="http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/domino.jpg" width="300" height="165" border="1">

2003-08-18T13:00:00.000+08:00
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/images/domino.jpg
To link it (the actual code):

2003-08-18T12:40:00.000+08:00
he told me he would text me later that day so that i'll know it's him.
(teka, ang labo ata ng pagkakasabi ko ah...)
exactly six days have pased and i havent got a thing.
ok. jaymz is right. maybe he's too busy.
but there's this nagging sense of paranoia that tells me he already erased my number in his phone book.
maybe im too nasty. according to li, we must believe in "the natural kindness of people", or something like that.
Besides, Vanette, who also practically had the same experience as mine (but it's with buwi, Parokya ni Edgar's bassist) told me that artists never forget. in fact buwi texted her the day of the gig itself.
i should take her word for it.
....
...
...
...
...
...
arg.

2003-08-18T12:31:00.001+08:00
where am i? oh right. the thing.
uhm, i need a few seconds to compose myself.
(myra, unable to contain her exuberation, releases an alarmingy girly siren:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
okay. i can start now.
ebe offered his car, but since there are eight of us, jason, cattski and i decided to ride a cab instead
(she was really nice! she told them that i'll come with her so that i won't feel left out).
so we went to this, uhm, namayaki, namayami, arg. basta, na-something place. there i was introduced
to ecko, boldstar's uhm, guitarist, i think. basta, he is a band member.
and uh, i'd downplay the fact that he's cute.hehe.
there's also joey, twisted's guitarist din ata.
so we got tow tables and propeed ourselves to little seats in full view of madlang people (look world!
im with musiciAns! of course, nobody i know saw us. for crying out loud, it was quarter to two in the morning!)
godzilla the stomach unleashed his acidic hunger pains, and i was ofrced to try the tapsilog (and since ebe
recommendeed it,i thought maybe the infamous food has super magical powers that can turn ayone
into a guitar maestro.)
they also ordered san mig lights. i guess ebe noticed that i still don't have one, and he asked me if i drink.
i told him that i don't like light, so he asked me what do i drink instead. wel, since my first tequila binge
was the best one so far, i told him i go for tequila. then he asked if it's the negra kind. well, to tell you
the truth, i don't know what the heck a tequila negra is. all i know is jose cuervo.
right there and then i realized how pompous i was. c'mon, that place was a carinderia, malamang
meron silang tequila (kaso totoo naman yun yung iniinom ko e. im jus being honest).
baka yun yung cuervo. so i said yes. he asked the waitress if they have one. of course they didnt.
so i settled for pale pilsen instead (they were like, "mas matindi pa pala to sa ten, e!" and "mas mura yun by 4pesos! the latter was said by ecko. gigels to the max again."). the last time i had a drop was 13 years ago, when i would beg my dad to
let me down a whole glass. syempre pagkatapos non tulog agad ako. (nung 5 years old pa ko ha, hindi ngayon)
the waitress was taking her little sweet time preparing the food, and godzilla was horrendously grunbling at the moment. imagine my joy when the food was finally served.
i impatiently took a bite, completly forgetting that it was jus taken out of the microwave oven. i tell you, no amount of beer was enough to replace the scorching heat of the angry tapsilog. i really want to spit it out that very moment, if only im not surrounded by band people. i tried really hard to fight back tears.
(with myra around, expect an embarassing moment on hand).
nevertheless, i had a good time listening to their opinions about the local (rock) music scene, guitars (whoopee!), amps and band life in general. i never knew the local bands really bond (a lame attempt at humor, sorry). it was pure heaven.
at around 3:30, jason decided to leave, for he has work in a few hour's time. everybody decided to go too, and once again we split up into five's. i went with cattski, jem and ecko (aiieeeee!) in joey's car, while the others went with ebe.
the moment i was seated comfortably in the car, i noticed a samurai x dvd. man! i really lost my dignity there!
i was like, "WOW! shit! samirai x!" i lost all of my dignity when he informed us that it was the "ending" oav---their deaths. however, i wasnt alone. jem was also into anime. ecko was a bit of a fan too.
he has the nearest place, so he was the first to go. (sayang!). he gave me a high five though!
so there we were, gabbing and stuff. i told joey to drop cattski off first, so as to avoid hassle (he will go around katips twice if he dropped me off first).
after a round of good-byes and see yous, i was left alone with him.
i figured out that i've already lost all possible dignity in me that day, so i decided to strike up a conversation with a rockstar (sorry. i know im exaggerating. its juz that im so star-struck..)
i asked him if he knows evangelion, then he raved on how it was good and all that stuff. of course the dorm is not that far from c.salvador, so we chatted a little more about AMP and LitSoc. turns out he was one of the few peeps who opted for AMP's accreditation (only after one year. could you imagine?!). he really worked on it. AMP and LitSoc were partner orgs before. the both of us dont know what happened though. well, i ranted on how AMP has been inactive lately, wherein everything was done by the heads. then i asked him when is their next gig. he told me it was on the 22nd, and i told him that we don't have classes that night (whoopee! now psyc 110 for me!) however, i was disappointed when he told me it's on big sky mind. i mean, where the heck is that?!
now, the most amazing thing happened.
he asked me if it was okay for him to get my number (since i didnt bring my fone and all), so that he can fetch me on the 22nd!
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeep!!!!!!!!!!
man, i was ssssssssoooooo ecstatic. how often can that happen to you?
i stayed awake for the rest of the morning.

2003-08-18T12:31:00.000+08:00
where am i? oh right. the thing.
uhm, i need a few seconds to compose myself.
(myra, unable to contain her exuberation, releases an alarmingy girly siren:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
okay. i can start now.
ebe offered his car, but since there are eight of us, jason, cattski and i decided to ride a cab instead
(she was really nice! she told them that i'll come with her so that i won't feel left out).
so we went to this, uhm, namayaki, namayami, arg. basta, na-something place. there i was introduced
to ecko, boldstar's uhm, guitarist, i think. basta, he is a band member.
and uh, i'd downplay the fact that he's cute.hehe.
there's also joey, twisted's guitarist din ata.
so we got tow tables and propeed ourselves to little seats in full view of madlang people (look world!
im with musiciAns! of course, nobody i know saw us. for crying out loud, it was quarter to two in the morning!)
godzilla the stomach unleashed his acidic hunger pains, and i was ofrced to try the tapsilog (and since ebe
recommendeed it,i thought maybe the infamous food has super magical powers that can turn ayone
into a guitar maestro.)
they also ordered san mig lights. i guess ebe noticed that i still don't have one, and he asked me if i drink.
i told him that i don't like light, so he asked me what do i drink instead. wel, since my first tequila binge
was the best one so far, i told him i go for tequila. then he asked if it's the negra kind. well, to tell you
the truth, i don't know what the heck a tequila negra is. all i know is jose cuervo.
right there and then i realized how pompous i was. c'mon, that place was a carinderia, malamang
meron silang tequila (kaso totoo naman yun yung iniinom ko e. im jus being honest).
baka yun yung cuervo. so i said yes. he asked the waitress if they have one. of course they didnt.
so i settled for pale pilsen instead (they were like, "mas matindi pa pala to sa ten, e!" and "mas mura yun by 4pesos! the latter was said by ecko. gigels to the max again."). the last time i had a drop was 13 years ago, when i would beg my dad to
let me down a whole glass. syempre pagkatapos non tulog agad ako. (nung 5 years old pa ko ha, hindi ngayon)
the waitress was taking her little sweet time preparing the food, and godzilla was horrendously grunbling at the moment. imagine my joy when the food was finally served.
i impatiently took a bite, completly forgetting that it was jus taken out of the microwave oven. i tell you, no amount of beer was enough to replace the scorching heat of the angry tapsilog. i really want to spit it out that very instaed, if only im not surrounded by band people. i tried really hard to fight back tears.
(with myra around, expect an embarassing moment on hand).
nevertheless, i had a good time listening to their opinions about the local (rock) music scene, guitars (whoopee!), amps and band life in general. i never knew the local bands really bond (a lame attempt at humor, sorry). it was pure heaven.
at around 3:30, jason decided to leave, for he has work in a few hour's time. everybody decided to go too, and once again we split up into five's. i went with cattski, jem and ecko (aiieeeee!) in joey's car, while the others went with ebe.
the moment i was seated comfortably in the car, i noticed a samurai x dvd. man! i really lost my dignity there!
i was like, "WOW! shit! samirai x!" i lost all of my dignity when he informed us that it was the "ending" oav---their deaths. however, i wasnt alone. jem was also into anime. ecko was a bit of a fan too.
he has the nearest place, so he was the first to go. (sayang!). he gave me a high five though!
so there we were, gabbing and stuff. i told joey to drop cattski off first, so as to avoid hassle (he will go around katips twice if he dropped me off first).
after a round of good-byes and see yous, i was left alone with him.
i figured out that i've already lost all possible dignity in me that day, so i decided to strike up a conversation with a rockstar (sorry. i know im exaggerating. its juz that im so star-struck..)
i asked him if he knows evangelion, then he raved on how it was good and all that stuff. of course the dorm is not that far from c.salvador, so we chatted a little more about AMP and LitSoc. turns out he was one of the few peeps who opted for AMP's accreditation (only after one year. could you imagine?!). he really worked on it. AMP and LitSoc were partner orgs before. the both of us dont know what happened though. well, i ranted on how AMP has been inactive lately, wherein everything was done by the heads. then i asked him when is their next gig. he told me it was on the 22nd, and i told him that we don't have classes that night (whoopee! now psyc 110 for me!) however, i was disappointed when he told me it's on big sky mind. i mean, where the heck is that?!
now, the most amazing thing happened.
he asked me if it was okay for him to get my number (since i didnt bring my fone and all), so that he can fetch me on the 22nd!
*beepbeepbeepbeepbeep!!!!!!!!!!
man, i was ssssssssoooooo ecstatic. how often can that happen to you?
i stayed awake the rest of the morning.

2003-08-15T21:48:00.000+08:00
i can die now.
seriously.
it all happened tuesday night, 12th of August, at 7 in the evening.
i was in KFC, along with my roommate. we were waiting for liana.
'cuz earlier, i fathomed that cattski, one of the coolest bands alive, has a gig at UP.
i have to stress that i became an instant fan after listening to their cd. talk anout great lead and rhythms, man!
(translation:putakte, ang galing nila mag-gitara! =0)
and it so happened that my liege, ms. bunny wabbit liana herself, is their friend.
so, in short, vanette and i went with them to their gig.
i know. it's overwhelming. but its just the beginning.
anyway, being the excited fan that i was, i prodded vanette to leave the form at exactly 6:45 .
i really want to be early, so that i wont be much of a pest to them, since they'll be leaving at 7
(hmmm...extra fan points for me! hehe...)
it was about 7:10 when i couldnt suppress my monstrous appetite any longer, so
i asked vanette to accompany me to kfc. i texted li our whereabouts, only to find out that cattski is behind us.
i know. talk about psychic powers man. my first step to world domination.
so i stood there, half-frozen. and yes, (if you're wondering) i look like a stoned moron.
vanette went to get a seat (after making sure i can handle it on my own), but after a few minutes, li arrived.
i sat beside cattski (suppressed girly gigils here. if you dont know what that meant,
consult the great dave lozada, or his number one fan, jaymee.). wheeee!the conceert was great. kiko machine and mojofly played, as well as matilda, a totally hip goth/grunge band. there are other bands as well, and most of them were great.
then, at around 11, cattski played. i get to take pictures. but just as i discovered this totally cool angle, the batt went out.
grrr.
next on the agenda is cynthia alexander, who's playing at 70's bistro. my roomie, too brkenhearted that parokya ni edgar
didnt play, decided to go home.
mi is different though.
we went to the place, along with jason of twisted halo. of course i didnt know that he was from twisted by then.
that night, i witnessed the power of hr. it turned out it wasnt cynthia's gig, it was her brother's.
joey ayala and associates as they were called. she played bass, though.
cattski (the person, not the whole band), talked a couple of minutes with this guy on th eentrance, explained their sit,
and lo and behold! we were given the four tickets for free! that slashed the 150 entrance fee into half!
kewwllll.....
and then i saw the face of cynthia alexander. is stared at her practically the whole time.
talk about a serious case of star-struckness.
aaaghhh.... it was just fantastic, i tell you. another evidence that YOU DONT NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY.
(as if the female species wholly depended on those testosterone crazed jerks.)
afterwards, ebe, sugarfree's (aagghhh!!!!) vocalist (told you i can die now) came and invited us to chat and stuff.
now, you must understand, li only had about two hours of sleep for two days, and she was really drowsy by that time (it was about quarter to two or so). so she declined.
now, you might be asking, what about crazy myra?
hehe...what do you think i would do? (*winkwink)
this is the time wherein you are given one whole minute to come up with the zaniest idea you can ever imagine.
ting! game over. now's the moment of truth.
*(ahh, mira, you are like, totally not making any sense here.)
i stayed.
yes, that's the pinnacle of kakapalan ng mukha known to mankind.
just as they said, "grab every oppurtunity".
im juz following the sayings of our chismoso ancestors.
and so, li, and bryan, cattski's bassist left.
whoopee! im surrounded by musicians. now what do i do next? (maybe if i stand long enough, they'd think im a statue
fit to bring with their after-gig bondings.)
however, cattski is way nicer (and modest too!)than that, and she kept me company most of the time.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
okay. guys. you must understand that jaymz's asleep now. it's time to exit now. im hogging her computer.
cheesier details to follow in tabloid format.

2003-08-11T11:35:00.000+08:00
pk. saying that im in a quizilla mood is an understatement. sorree...i had fun with th eendless quiz...
the results are evidences that quizzes are really just for fun (academic ones dont count). see how weird they are.
or maybe they are just proofs of my eclectic-ness. eclecticity. whatever.
arg.

i really should practice now. my jazz midterms is an hour and a half away and im still here in the freezer.
whoppee for me. my groupmates will kill me.

2003-08-11T11:31:00.000+08:00

Your Heart is Black

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:29:00.000+08:00

Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:27:00.000+08:00

You are Beast!

You are brilliant and extremely clever. You can
handle almost any problem swiftly and
efficiently. You are devoted to philosophy and
are always up for a good discussion.
Sometimes, though, your anger gets the best of
you and you upset those whom you care about.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:25:00.000+08:00

You are Cypher, from "The Matrix."
Selfish, disllusioned, you are misguided at
times. You deviate from the "right"
path.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:23:00.000+08:00

You're A Bishoujo (Attractive Young Woman)!
You are loved by all, and you know it. You love
the attention you get, because or your sense of
style, and perfect face. Congrats.

What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:21:00.000+08:00

borderline

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:17:00.000+08:00

Gay Bear

Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:15:00.000+08:00

You are Belle from Beauty and the Beast!

What Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:13:00.000+08:00

Lion King!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:07:00.000+08:00

You are Hate.

You care little to nothing about people and things
around you. You are consumed by feelings of
animosity and loathing towards everything or
one thing and it affects your view of all that
is around you.

What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:05:00.000+08:00

You are the typical feminist, depressed, artist.
You go against the crowd and do everything you
can to be different. Too bad noone notices.
Try communicating with people, not just looking
down on them.

What kind of typical high school character from a movie are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T11:02:00.000+08:00

The Lost Soul

What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T10:51:00.000+08:00

You Are: Death of the Endless

You are Death, the second oldest of the Endless,
the seven great incarnations.
She is, in outward appearance, a goth with wild
unkempt hair and slightly punkish clothes. But
she is far beyond that mere description. Her
function is much like the "Reaper,"
to collect the souls of mortals as they die.

She is perky, optimistic, and bright, but she also
has a serious side, which shows when she is
angry or upset. She can become quite frustrated
with her brother, when he is being singularly
foolish.

People fear her because of what she is, and this
can get her down sometimes. But they also love
her, without ever truly knowing why.

What Sandman Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-11T10:19:00.000+08:00
whoppeee!the pictures were wonderful! i got an A! i got an A in my photography class!
what joy!

2003-08-11T10:12:00.000+08:00
I carefully retraced the steps back to the attic.
It was funny and painful at the same time; like a recalling the lyrics of a song that you’ve painstakingly tried to forget; or reveling at the slow, beautiful dance of the dirge; maybe somewhat near to painting the words of your beloved’s eulogy; or to the bittersweet pleasure of wallowing in masochism--- the ecstasy of needles and veins in unison.
Maybe it was the mystic, musty place of the attic.
Or maybe because I’m walking towards a dark secret I’ve repressed for so long…
I don’t know.
My feet took me to an old treasure chest. I gingerly opened it; afraid to break a part of it, yet a crazed urge desperately wants me to lash out and throw the wretched thing out of the window.
Dust, along with memoirs, greeted my frail eyes. Each has an own story to tell, trapped in aeons of oblivion, encased by stardust and rust.

Glancescaughthiddenwordstrappedemotions
sunlightraystrappedinyourfrazzledwaves
yourartistichandsyourcoldstonyeyesyourapathy
yoursilenceyourprideyourlaughteryourglances
oursilenttalksonthediningtableoureyescommunicating
asifwehavementaltelepathy
lastyearshalloween
yourpunsmyjokesmyuneasiness
myfingerstremblingeverytimeyouareaaround
myquirksyourcomplacencyYOURMESSAGE
yourmessedupiloveyoumessagethatledmetoinsanity
yourweirdsignalsyourrestraintIDONTUNDERSTANDYOU…
…a tortured-teen romance that existed out of Hollywood’s hyper-reality,
Something that was beyond my wildest dreams, yet I know, for a time, it was something that I want…
Wanted.
Used to want.

I carefully closed the lid, my fingers tracing its rough edges. Not that I’ve been overcome by the nauseous delusions my maudlin self used to concoct, but because I realized,
I just had enough.
I’m sick and tired of this pathetic whirlwind of starry, unrequited desires; of hearts dancing in the moon; of a soul immersed in crimson velvet tears shed for something not worth mulling over in the first place.
I heard its loud click as the lock fit into place. My little eulogy for it was done. I descended from the attic, out of the house, out of this place where your shadow lingered for as long as I can remember.
It is time to leave. I now have a life apart from you.
A smile crept over my face as I started the engine. I didn’t look back. And as the engine came to life, I realized,
I’m perfectly content.

2003-08-11T10:10:00.000+08:00
Confessions of a masochist
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
i like pressure
i enjoy academic pressure
I am the only one who puts pressure to myself

2003-08-07T17:55:00.000+08:00
arg! where's my latest post? where? where? where?
how can they say its publiished successfully when i cant see it?
and why, why why does the bell have to ring now?
?
?
?
im having so much fun... sniff..sniff

2003-08-07T17:52:00.000+08:00
i smell food here in the ctc...
was it because of my delusions?
was it because im just too tired?
was it because there are too many spellings of my (gasp!)...
nickname?
was it because i forgot what to say?
was it because i forgot my glasses and my eyes hurt?
was it because i prodded lenore to dance our jazz steps?
was it because i forced lenore to do the (ahem) angular wave (accdg to jaymz)?
was it because i thought jaymee how to play the guitar?
was iit because i learned two new songs today (thnx to ray and sir vince)?
was it because of the avocado shake i slurped during great books class (by the way, i nevert knew medieval lit can be sooooo interesting)?
was it because of jaymz's goriillaz cd? (take note of the zzz's here. *wink wink*)
or...
was it because im readiing jaymee's blog right now?
hmmmm...

2003-08-07T17:35:00.000+08:00
jaymeee, sorreee. meron na palang net d2 sa ctc...
hindi bale, at least alam mo nang tugtugin yung A, C, D, E, and G sa gitara di ba?
whoooopee!

2003-08-07T17:33:00.000+08:00
allen! thirty minutes na lang photog na! whoppee! cant wait to see your pictures!

2003-08-07T17:32:00.000+08:00
ah, i forgot kung ano yung ipo-post ko.
oooops....

2003-08-07T17:29:00.000+08:00
yippeee! jaymz already knows how to lay the guitar! she's now part of my guitar- wacko minion! whoopeeee!

2003-07-24T17:39:00.000+08:00
i need to pee.

2003-07-24T17:37:00.000+08:00
why...
do i like photography?
do i have overexposed prints?
did i get lost in pasig earlier this morning?
am i dizzy?
did i take the pinoy test earlier?
didn't i keep updating my blog?
am i doing this?
did i evolve a not so "happy-happy-joy-joy" person?
am i in a "happy-happy-joy-joy" department in litsoc?
haven't i finished my s.a article yet?
do i kepp falling in manholes? (wink wink)
am i asking these questions?
am i doing this?
am i cold?
am i staring at you?
don't i just shut up?

2003-07-24T17:09:00.000+08:00
this is all your fault.
i make shitty poems.

2003-07-24T16:59:00.000+08:00
i enjoy
the sensation of the cold steel
tip
kissing my lacerated arm.
you unite with my blood.
and danced a tango to my heart's dirge.
i revel
in the absurdity of it all.
but...
as the smoke cleared the mist from my catatonic eyes
i asked...
why?